Seniors; class of 2015.

Graduation for seniors is already here, and I feel so happy for them. I didn't really hold these feelings for the class of 2014 but I feel a lot more closer to the class of 2015 because some of the seniors who have/ are graduating were in my journalism class and just had this presence of a great future. It makes me kind of sad that there wont be people like that next year who have a leadership aura to them. I hope with all my heart that there will be people who have the same aura as them next year, who know how to motivate us into become better people and just understand that Lee can be a better school and that we can rise to the top if we put in effort to make out school better.
         This post is going to be rather short because I dont really know much about the seniors but I hope that they have a bright future ahead of themselves, that they achieve all of their goals, become healthy and well I hope that their upcoming days are days that they will want to remember for a very long time

Speech about education and suicide

I finished my speech for my speech class, and to be completely honest, I felt so scared going up there. I was scared that people would not find my speech interesting so to me, my words felt really rambled and after finishing my heart started beating really fast and my face felt hot. I've never felt this way before but after giving this speech of something ; I found myself being very passionate about, I felt really nervous to the point of me almost hyperventilating.
  I actually hope that my classmates found my speech to be interesting and for them to feel grateful of their education, because many of the students at lee don't study as hard as South Korean students do. Of course it's all due to their culture and how they were taught from a small age. South Koreans are taught that their parents and adults should always be respected and for them to be obedient people. In short I hope that my classmates have learned maybe one or two things about a different country's education system and how it affects their Mental and physical health.

LOTR & The Hobbit

The hobbit and The lord of the ring are such great movies. I dont know why, maybe it's because I'm a total nerd who just enjoys watching fantasy/action movies. It may seem kind of dumb but I just cant help but enjoy these type of movies! Movies that show a different type of Universe (?). I just enjoy watching movies that show a different world, medieval and how they would survive by fighting. One of my close friends. Diego allowed me to borrow his movie "The Hobbit the battle of the five armies" and truthfully I just cant help but love it!
       These are the types of movies that make me sit down on the couch for hours and hours to just learn about a fantasy realms where people fight for land and what they believe is right. It's kind of a part of history that just never happened. It makes me want to travel there and become an adventurer to learn of the many places, maybe some day I will get to travel the world and learn of countries "medieval" history.

Debating

I'm panicking. School is almost ending and today we went over the history test review, and guess what? I didn't remember much from what I learned in the past couple of months. I'm panicking, I have this huge fear that I'm going to be failing my classes and that I wont have good grades to be able to pass the grade and, oh my, I don't know if I can deal with that so soon. I know I said I was going to study but I started to play a new game so studying has been moved to the back of my head. Gaming is fun but it makes me feel like I have more of a life online than in real life so that just makes me even more depressed, yet I don't do anything about it...  Also fun fact I learned, next year we are not having a new schedule, I heard we were getting out at 3:15, but turns out that we are actually getting out at the same time. This makes me question weather I want to attend Lee or go to a new school.
   It's hard giving a teen this huge option, "Do  you want to go to a school where you know no one?" Of course not! I want to stay with my friends and laugh at lunch over stupid things. I'm debating weather I want to attend Lee next year, but chances are I will return. Since I dont think I can give up on such kind friends who accept me for who I am.

Thank you Lee!

Wow, the year has gone by so fast... I kinda don't want school to end but it has to end at some point,right? Soon I'll be a Junior and will be looked upon as "Senpai" Oh god. I'm such a weirdo that I believe that people would call me that, Ha! With only having a week left I feel pressured by my school work. To know that I did learn something and that what I was doing in class was worth it, that my grades do mean something. Some people will probably think differently but I want to graduate with good grades, because believe it or not middle school was my "rebellious" stage. I went to ISS (In School Suspension ?? ) and a few other things, mainly because I did not turn in my homework and because my grades, were of course were going down the drain. I got a wake up call and started working harder on my last year of middle school and left with good grades, but I wasn't able to get into my first choice of high school. I came to Lee knowing that it was not the best school I should attend and that many of the students did drugs or were in gangs. 

    I put aside all the negative things people kept saying about Lee and concentrated on my school work. I'm not someone popular but I made friends that I talk to while I pass the hallway. During my sophomore year I made more friends and told myself I was not going to be so timid and quiet, that I would make friends that we're or are complete opposites of me. I met Russel, Natalia, Jose, Diego, Jennifer, Yennifer, Juliette, and many other people. They are either positive, quiet, talkative, or just outgoing. I am grateful to Lee for allowing me to meet people who are different from me. Oh and I'm grateful for meeting Mary Manghaucing, She's a little small Asian girl who has become someone I care for and don't want people to harm her because to me she's like a delicate little sister, even though she is a year older than me, so thank you for always being kind to me and making me feel like an older sister! 

The internet is scary...

        The internet can be such a scary place for people who are there to just look up things and laugh at videos of cats doing dumb things. The main reason why I have to "talk" about this is because recently I went on one of my favorite apps that I have on my phone. This app is currently not on the apple store but it is still on my phone so, yay for me, anyhow. I log on it and start looking at some profiles that may have some funny content on it. I click on a random one but well, turns out that specific person's profile is not the nicest profile one could search up. They use the word autism so much it's annoying, they mainly use it to describe some other persons profile because they didn't find their pictures funny while other people did. What made me even more mad was the fact that they were making fun of "fandoms" and calling them names, which was rather ironic since they posted so many pictures about call of duty. So what did this teach me? People on the internet can be such jerks ( for the lack of a better word) .
        Yet there are people out there that will worry about you, for example; on Friday and Monday I did not attend school and two of my very close friends were asking me if I was okay , and truthfully that made me feel so happy. The thought of someone missing you can make someone feel so loved and feel the affection of someone else towards you. I'm very grateful for having such nice friends at Lee. :)

At first...

At first I thought that doing blogs was going to be a bit hard, but turns out that it's not that bad. I actually run a tumblr blog but I rarely use it , plus most of the time I just spend my time designing it so it's not like I do much on it. Blog's shouldn't be super personal but It's a bit hard since there isn't much to talk about. So i'll just type away things that I have seen, things like couples going out, foods that I want to try and dreams that I have but am to scared to try and achieve.
 First of all , I'm actually really happy for some of the couples in my school, they are cute and what-not. YET, i'm kinda tired? annoyed? how they cant keep their mouths away from each other! I'm happy for y'all,that you guys miss each other so much and just enjoy being with each other but please, please,please, please, please think about us, lonely people, when you guys show so much affection with each other. To some of us, what we see isn't something we would actually like to see every class period when you go look for your special person.

Then again, I'm just voicing out the opinion of maybe, 1/3 of the people in my school? Who knows. As I'm typing this my fingers tips are in pain keyboards are so painful for me since I'm so used to using a laptop's keyboard. That's it for now... I miss my laptop!

Family is important.

Oh god, music has such a strong presence to me. It makes me feel super sad and happy at the most of random times. I was listening a song by an artist (not sure what her/his name was) and the song has such a deep meaning behind it. The music video is about the a woman getting married, it shows her at a young age getting hurt and how her mom would take care of her. It began showing the "bad" parts of her youth, when she started getting into fights over silly things, such as what she would wear and what not. It kinda reminded me of ... well me. Me and my mom fight over the most stupidest things but we make up after a while because I just cant stay mad at my mom for long, she always finds a way to make me smile. The video made me really teary eyed and just, feel things that I try to not feel that often. I started watching another video after that, the singer Kim Bum Soo has such beautiful  vocals. This song is mainly about missing your family; when you start to grow up you end up not having time for your family anymore so sometimes you end up eating alone. When you eat alone you start missing a homemade meal because it makes you feel like you're home with your family holding a nice conversation. https://youtu.be/PZ1FeDkKj1c .

Art Project

I've been watching waaaay to much Buzzfeed. Their videos are really funny but I'm not actually sure what they do. Is that bad? Probably. So maybe it's because I'm a girl or because I just want to know about the whole pregnancy deal, I watched this video ; https://youtu.be/3tvegr-O9vI ; It was hilarious! I couldn't stop laughing that I had to show it to a close friend of mine and we just laughed at how much work the "try guys" had to go through and the pain. The guys did learn a lot of stuff, how woman have to deal with 30+ pounds of new body fat and the pangs of hunger they get. To be honest, I think I would rather adopt a child than bear one, mainly because I don't want to deal with the pain and yeah. The pain is just what I don't want to deal with.
 So due to finals, we have begun studying and getting projects. For art class we have to do a 3D version of something/ ANYTHING out of cardboard boxed. Me and my friend were originally going to do the weapon that Diana, a league of legends champion, uses. But then I decided that no, it was way to difficult so of course I'm a huge video game fan and anime fan as well, we decided to create one of Sora's key blade! It's way simpler-er and I think we can use more of the cardboard instead of having to throw it all away.

FINALS

FINALS. That horrible week of school where you have to remember what you learned in these past few months and if you don't remember, well, you fail you're classes and don't get credit! How I dread these up coming weeks, I don't think I can deal with having to cram up so much information and having to study. I think I'm going to have to start studying next week... the earlier I start the more I will try and remember... right? Hopefully, studying can be such a pain because it get's in between my free time. What do I want, better grades or to become more of a NEET by staying home and playing games in the dark? Actually, I think I will study, yeah that sounds so much better.
   In other news, I'm still not sure if I will be returning to Lee next year, today my parents have decided to go looking for other apartments near Lee, we went around but we couldn't really find a place that suited our living expenses or accommodate 5-6 people. Eeek! our family is really big, that includes my niece. I actually want to stay at Lee but I don't want to stay either, mainly because next year's schedule is going to be super packed and I don't think I would really enjoy that...agh. Hopefully the faculty and the principle notice that they are giving us to many classes to take in one day.

Getting back at it...?

Summer is nearing, and the question that keeps popping up in my head is "what will you do?".
I keep wondering if my parents will allow me to finally start working or if I will spend time playing games like every summer. It bugs me that I am spending my youth doing nothing,but just sitting down in front of the computer watching random people earn money for doing the exact same thing. Is that wrong? I'm not sure if it's jealousy or envy...
    Apart from that I think I will actually start drawing this summer. I've started getting back into drawing/painting, because of that I'm going to ask my parents if they can get me a new drawing tablet. I've had mine for like three years now, that's a really long time! It's a nice tablet but I feel like something new would be so much better in allowing me to improve. :). Even if many artist say that I'ts all about your skill and not the tablets, well I beg to differ. My opinion is that if you get better equipment you will feel like you're improving, but yeah, just my opinion.
Current Drawing I have done during the weekend ;

I'm sick and tired. I'm ready for school to end but I'm not ready at the same time, I want to see my friends and continue to laugh with them but that wont last for long. Growing up and understanding the fact that you're becoming an adult is traumatizing, you cant rely on your parents anymore and  you have to deal with having to fend for yourself. How do people deal with that? I find it really strange, I cant seem to grasp the fact that